Hingham Actual
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From: parinell@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (James C Parinella)
Subject: Tea Party Wins Hingham
Date: 8 Aug 1994 19:30:45 GMT


The Tea Party boiled its way through an all-star field of 16
teams to win the coveted Hingham Cup this weekend.  The
Boston/Westchester comglomerate dominated all its competition
this weekend, manhandling CRUD and Elwood Hound, the
Westchester "B" and "C" teams, in the finals and semis by the
scores of 15-6 and 15-9, respectively.  There was no
discussion of boxing out or ethics violations by UPA
officials.

In the other semifinal, Somerville "We're Actually Very
Intelligent People, Although You Probably Couldn't Tell By The
Way We Play" Youth was in control over CRUD, but couldn't
score when it had to, and CRUD scored at the cap after a
controversial foul call to win a marathon (read:
turnover-plagued) game, 17-16.  The Tea Party was able to
relax and enjoy a nice hot kettle during this game since their
efficient offense and tempting defense enabled them to
dispatch pre-tournament favorite Elwood Hound, led by Kenny
"New Leaf" Dobyns, in about an hour.  Their game was close
early, but the heavily partisan crowd extended their pinkies
and whistled for the unstoppable Tea Party, which just
received an at-large invitation to Worlds.

Somerville Youth's untimely demise ruined the chances for an
innovative "quadrathon" instead of the conventional finals.
There was a tentative agreement between SY and the Tea Party,
cancelled of course by SY's loss, to have the weighted results
of four disc-related games decide the tournament victor.  The
four would have been double disc court (which Alex "Good O, No
" deFrondeville and Dennis "Turnover Free Since Aug 21, 1992"
McCarthy of the Tea Party had been dominating all weekend),
hot box (which has been brought to new levels by the Tea
Party), a gun-off (overall edge to the Youth), and Ultimate
(no comment necessary), with a tie-breaker being arguing
(tough to call--both had several players on the All-Tournament
Arguing Team).  But the warm air was apparently suffocating to
the Tufts boys, and they were able only to heckle and make
Fantasy Frisbee bets with their fellow Bostonians from Smoke
'n' Gun during the final.  Said Paul "I Know You Guys Finished
An Hour Ago, But I Was Off Somewhere Riding My Bike And Doing
Who Knows What, So I Can't Enforce A Time Cap" Dixon,
putter-togetherer of the most humorous but yet informative
tournament program yet seen, "I'm glad they won.  What's good
for the Tea Party is good for this country and ultimate.  And
if Mike "One Man Spring Break" Kizilbash had been playing, who
knows how badly they would have won?"  For the sake of the
rest of the free world, it's better that we don't find out.

Jim "I Call Them Like I See Them" Parinella

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