Ow-My-Knee

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From: parinell@athena.mit.edu (James C Parinella)

Subject: Tea Party Wins Non-Canadian Pool of Ow-My-Knee

Date: 11 Jul 1994 19:53:15 GMT

The Tea Party proved it deserves the label "Best of Boston" by advancing to the finals of the splendid Ow-My-Knee tournament this weekend. The 10 person squad (comprised of the Tea Party, Justin and Judy, and five Westchester guys) was worn down by its semifinal game with weaker sister Boston compatriot Somerville Youth (who put on an "exhibition" at the beginning of the final) and consequently faded severely against the hard-running Ottawa team in the final.

The real story to the tournament, though, (except for the weird weather) was the intra-Boston heckling going on. It began with trash talking at TJ's Cantina in Wellesley last Wednesday. One player (who was mysteriously absent from Albany) was heard to predict that he was going to score 8 goals against another player who was present, "Four left-handed, three with both hands, and one off your head." A flurry of "Well, I'M the designated goal scorer" bets followed, all of them later cancelled, but the stage was set. The tournament pairings provided the opportunity. Saturday's second round games would feature Smoke'N'Gun, starring Jordan "Off my Head" Haskell, Barney "I Don't Want No @#$%in' Tea, Gimme a Large Dunkin' Donuts Coffee" Barnicle, and Paul "We're Not Really" Dix, against the Tea Party, led by Al "Earl Grey" deFrondeville and Mike "Camemille (Hot, Dark, but Gentle)" Kizilbash. SNG jumped out to a 6-4 lead, but the vaunted Tea Party offense, similar to the Death or Glory offense and personally guaranteed to win Nationals this year, stormed back to take the half, 7-6. Another storm, this one with thunder and lightning, delayed the second half for about an hour and probably 6 beers per SNG player. The off time combined with that relentless Tea Party defense enabled the Tea Party to waltz through the rest of the game to a 13-9 drubbing.

Sunday provided further heckling opportunities. Tea Party and Somerville "Let's All Throw Lots of Hammers" Youth played on adjacent fields, winners to meet in the semis, while Smoke'n'Gun took an early exit on another field. Only Jeff "Jethro" "No Forehand Too Long" Yu was brave enough to approach the Tea Party immediately after the loss, while the remainder of the team was busy quoting odds on the final (Ottawa covered). Gary "Hammers are Supposed to go Forward?" Lippmann beat Al "Designated Yeller" deFrondeville in the "Throw it in the lacrosse net instead of flipping" for shirts while Bob "No, not THAT Bob Stoddard" Stoddard bettered Jim "Nice Guy" Parinella for the pull, but those were Somerville Youth's only advantages of the day. The Tea Party cruised early, took the half by several, then appeared in control at 12-7, but SY started going deep to Alec Ewald, who came up with three amazing end zone grabs to spark a comeback. SY had the disc to tie it at 15, but a throwaway, a well placed huck and a little blade gave the Tea Party the right to get blown away in the final. The Tea Party hopes to reconvene in Hingham in August, where it hopes to work a little hometown magic.

Jim "Don't Believe Everything You Read, Because I Go To A School With A Bunch Of Computer Science Geeks" Parinella