DoG 1996: Thou can not count to four before thou countest three.

Month

Tournament

Finish

Notable Wins/Losses

 

Comments

April

Turkey Swamp

5-2 (2nd)`

2 losses to Philly

 

Er, we won the party? Beat Monster Truck?

May

Mothers’ Day

5-1, 2nd (O)

Both lost to Philly, D lost to O

4-2, semis (D)

 

I wasn’t there. Hell, where was I? Oh, right, in Florida. We were working in Ft. Lauderdale right on the ocean, sweet hotel room, free cocktails from 5-7 PM. Went to South Beach, caught some rays, etc.

June

Regionals

5-0, 1st

None

 

Fields got yanked away, had to have a mini-Regionals at Amherst. We played hoops, I got big blisters from wearing terrible shoes. I had to leave to go back to Florida and missed the big finals.

July

Boulder

8-0, 1st

Z, Philly, NY

 

Rehoboth Beach hosted the death of Easterns, which had been faltering for a couple years. Philly, 4-0 vs the team YTD, didn’t have a chance. Z lost by a lot, also. .

August

Worlds, Jonkoping, Swededn

11-1, 1st

Lost to Sweden in pool play

 

First indication that the world was catching up to the US, as several teams gave us tough games or portions of games. Bim was on his honeymoon, rest of us had no excuse. Lost by one to the host country after a retracted pick call. Trans World Sport films us in our referee uniforms, red and yellow cards hanging from our pockets. We thought we were going to be so cool with our uniforms. As I arrived for our first game, I scanned the fields for the team, and thought, "Oh, there’s Bim, he’s here awfully early." Then "Why are all those other people with Bim?" Then "Oh, I guess Japan decided to go with the black on white ensemble as well." Finals were in a cool stadium, bands played national anthems. Only big tournament we’ve ever lost a pool play game in and came back to win. Finals won going away, 21-13. Bob crushes some Swedes. Cork kicks ass and wins drink from Billy for night. Billy wins that night, too.

September

Tuneup, Chicago

6-2, 2nd

Lost to Portland, Double

 

Continued Tuneup mantra of "lull ‘em, then turn it up a little to win by 2." Was only team in history to have quiet game with Port City. Crushed by Portland, almost lost to (gasp) Lemon, rebounded to win pool. Beat Seattle in semis, lost rematch to Double by 4 in finals. The Curse grows, as Double loses to Saucy Jack in Regionals and stays home.

 

Purchase, NY

6-0, 1st

Won Capilene long-sleeve T-shirts still worn by many in cold.

 

I left halfway through finals against Blood (one of the Cojones parts), we held on to win. In pool play blowout, Jethro is alone in end zone for goal, I make a layout bid to catch it, but MAC it instead. At first surprised because there was no "man on" call, Jethro recovers and catches it, then spikes it on me. I get back at him (and his Amherst buddy Bickford) when Yale captain tells me, "I just want to thank you for everything."

October

Clambake, Portland, ME

7-0, 1st

 

 

I wasn’t there (what the fuck is up with that? 2+ tournaments missed FOR WORK!!! Or was I hurt? Damon kicked me in the ankle in practice, I was out for a few weeks, maybe that was why. Anyway. DoG wins only Clambake appearance.

 

Sectionals

4-0, 1st

 

 

Sectionals win, I missed that again with injury. Actually, it turned out to be a blessing, as I wasn’t enjoyed the dickheads I was playing with.

 

Regionals, New Haven

6-0, 1st

Snapple

 

Saturday was miserable: cold, wet, and windy. Our schedule was 2 games, bye, 2 games, so we rochammed to see who got to play two and leave. Souheil, Bickford, and I lost and went to Yankee Doodle Diner, saw the beginnings of an attempt to break the "hamburgers in one sitting" record of 22, got to hear of prior attempts. Most heartbreaking was one fellow who brought along a friend to pace him, but friend got a one-hamburger lead. Fellow tried to tell him to stop so he could get the record, then friend could break THAT record, he refused and won going away. Day 2 was very nice weather. Snapple beat Randall’s Island to secure Nats berth. They played zone-to-man every freaking point against us, ran our offense, etc., prompting one person to label them "a poor man’s DoG." Randall’s beats Blood to take 3rd spot.

November

Nationals, Plano (TX)

8-0, 1st

Everyone

 

First 14 team Nationals. Parinella flight again has trouble. Planes leaving an hour before land on time, ours doesn’t take enough fuel and has to land in Oklahoma, and we are delayed enough that we circle in 300 mile loop for a while over Dallas, then head to San Antonio, where we sit on tarmac for 2 hours until a gate opens up, then wait in line for another 1.5 hours to change ticket, run to plane, arrive in Dallas around 7:30 AM. BAT capitalizes on this and jumps out to 1-0 lead as Mooney gets stalled without ever looking to throw. Crappy game against San Diego to win pool. Saucy Jack runs up 11- lead against us before reality sets in. We win 15-14. Brian doesn’t know whether to cheer or cry. Z takes their team photo BEFORE our semis. We beat Sockeye 19-16 in another BGE, this time "Boringest Game Ever." Greff gets stalled when he mistakenly think Mooney can stop a game simply by yelling. Team and Godiva almost get shot by rednecks in lesbian dancing episode.

DoG’s Third Victory. Newcomers include TGPITG and Snoop Zazzy. Lenny cuts Mooney’s hair. Year was too long, training for season begins in June, burned out by year’s end. Team record is 74-8, 8 victories, 3 2nds, 1 semis loss to other half of DoG. Three year total of 199-21, perhaps ought to count scrimmage against Snapple that fall, making it an even 200.