DoG 2004: Lots of nicknames

Month			Tournament	Finish	Notable Wins/Losses
	Comments
May			Philly	7-0, 1st
	Few people acknowledge that this tournament happened, but apparently we went and won. I wasn’t there, so allow me to recap an earlier Philly tournament. The year was 1993. Bill Clinton had just figured out that the Lincoln Bedroom could become the most expensive B&B in the country. Jurassic Park was causing people to have nightmares about being chased by dinosaurs instead of by sharks. And a plucky little outfit from Boston entered the Mothers' Day tournament in Philly with a skeleton crew. Read more…
			White Mountain Open	7-0, 1^st 4-2, 3rd	L to NY, DoG
	We split up into two teams, although I can’t remember the theme. Zach Browne misses his ride and ends up renting a car for $150 to get there. A big rainstorm forces a postponement or cancellation of the final round of pool play. We lose in pool play to NY somehow, then lost to the other “Boss DoG” team in the semis, which goes on to crush NY in the finals after they squeak by Montreal. Jim, Al, and Dennis have a Tea Party mini-reunion on Saturday night.
			Pike Invite	7-0, 1^st
	Cheesequake debuts and shows itself to be a spunky little outfit capable of winning the close ones, with two two-point victories over a pesky Pike.
June		Easterns		5-2, 2nd		L to Pike, Ring
	Zaz has the nerve to schedule his wedding for this weekend, accidentally. He asked Tommy Proulx when Easterns was, and Tommy thinks he means something besides “Boston Invitational” and tells him another date, so I’m out of luck. The wedding was nice, held at Zaz’s mom’s house on Long Island. We drive around for about an hour trying to find the motel on Friday night at 1 am, not realizing that the podunk town has both a Belleview St and a Belleview Ave which are nowhere near each other, and not thinking it possible that Zaz would have put the wrong one down in his information sheet. Adam Goff attends both the wedding and Sunday’s games, and has the nerve (what is it with these Chicago guys?) to seek out Alex to gloat or something about him being there and me not being there. Zaz and Lizzie take off shortly thereafter for a year in New Zealand, her being a Kiwi and all. (Can I say Kiwi, or is that offensive somehow? If it is offensive, am I more or less likely to use the term?)
July		Australia		0-1		L to Australia Worlds team
	This is the final scrimmage for the Aussies on their American tour prior to Worlds in Finland. We have to switch fields twice. At the second site, all the players just start leaving, so the fans are just sitting around wondering what’s going on, so I shout out what directions I’ve been given so they can attend also. About 150-200 people watch Australia jump out to a big lead, us get it back, then Australia come back at the end.
September			Labor Day	3-3, 4th	L to Sockeye, Jam, Pike
	San Jose airport sucks. We lost our first game to Pike (of NJ) by 2 after blowing a late 2 or 3 goal lead. Then Jam beat us by about 4, and then we went down to Sockeye 4-0 or 5-0 before losing by about that amount. Finally, to cap off a brilliant day, we nearly lost to Kaos. Double game point had three turnovers each, including a semi-drop by them in the end zone. Sunday turned out to be much better, as we beat the Condors by 2 to start the day, then beat Electric Pig (DC) by several to finish up 3-3. The Condors then went on to lose to Pike to knock themselves out of the running, and Sockeye beat Jam in the finals. Somewhat interesting that Sockeye took first outright with a 5-1 record (losing to 2-4 Kaos in the first round), and only two teams were 4-2. We drank during our final round bye and while watching the finals. The tournament used the irritating West Coast hard cap for both the women's semis and finals, so Fury gave up the final goal in both but won the tournament. I really think that the hard cap should not be employed in elimination rounds.
			Tuneup	6-2, 1st	L to Sub-Zero, BAT
	Ok, it’s the Chicago Heavyweight Championship, but it’s still Tuneup to me: no shade, hard fields, too many games, some of them awfully lackluster, and pulling some stuff out at the end. Beer at the fields, but this time they had too many kegs and so I drank just a little too much on Sat night and so was too dry for Sunday Best game of year in beating Ring 13-4 in pool play, and worst game of year in losing to BAT for the first time ever, by exactly enough that Ring was knocked out of contention. I’m so off my game that I don’t even realize that points mattered for Ring. Here’s a video by some Chicago guy. We beat Machine in the finals by 2 after being up 8-2 at half.
			Sectionals	4-0, 1st
	The Man at the UPA forces our Section to break tradition and have a two-day, eight-team Sectionals tournament. Luckily, a hurricane hits and forces a one-day format, but sadly not before I have to drive 1.5 hours in a rainstorm to hang out for a couple hours before returning home. Well, I suppose I wouldn’t have been able to play golf anyway, but still, it’s the principle. Twisted Metal isn’t as good as they’re supposed to be. Brown scores more than 2 against us, so Tom has to buy them dinner, instead of buying us dinner.
October			Regionals	4-0, 1st
	Beat Goat in the finals 15-9, then many watched Goat and Twisted Metal battle it out for the 2^nd spot, Goat taking it on double-game point. (I think the term “universe point” is presumptuous, so I refuse to use it, other than to deny its use.)
November			Nationals	4-4, 5th	Lost to Ring, Jam, Condors, and Furious
44-14, 5 victories, 1 finals loss, 1 semis loss and 1 4^th place finish, 1 other New players:  Boss Hogg guys: Ariel, Casey, Ben, Kelvin, Josh M, J-Co, Funboy, plus Lyn back from Afghanistan just in time to turn the election to the Republicans. Lost a bunch of guys. Lots of nicknames. Lifetime:  554-84, 58 titles, 19 2nd, 11 3^rd/4th, 10 other.